A wartime diary by Yevgenia Belorusets

This diary will likely be up to date every day and is copublished with ISOLARII.

DAY 13 (TUESDAY, MARCH 8): “THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG”

WHEN I ENTERED TODAY’S DATE into my Phrase doc, it regarded suspicious and unnatural. Time goes on—someday after one other, the sequence is assured, after brightness comes the evening. On the similar time, nearly every thing that occurs is opposite to the state of dwelling—I don’t need to say, “opposite to normality.” I seek for a extra acceptable phrase however can not discover it. The phrase ought to describe a complete destruction, however on the similar time maintain open the chance that a lot can nonetheless be saved.

Right this moment I gave an interview to a journalist. I used to be a little bit late, however then we talked. Some questions had been uncomfortable, however I couldn’t cease answering them. The journalist stated to me: “Once I hear you, every thing round you appears to be functioning usually, you discuss concerning the individuals within the streets . . . How do you even notice that the struggle is actually there?”

The query tormented me. As I looked for a solution, I felt how I started to justify myself, how I attempted to show the disaster by describing the struggle—as if there may nonetheless be a doubt that the struggle is occurring. However you possibly can hardly describe the disaster at this scale; all you are able to do is cease it. It’s the solely factor you are able to do with it.

Once I inform the individuals I meet that I’m writing a public diary, most of them say to me, “The world has to assist us shut the sky over Ukraine. Are you able to go this on?”

With my very own eyes, I see the masked faces of Russian pilots who had been fortunate sufficient to outlive their planes being shot down and had been then arrested. There have been video clips on Telegram of elements of their interrogation. They stated, “We don’t know who we drop the bombs on, we simply get the coordinates for the air strikes after which we comply with the orders.”

A buddy who was evacuated from a small city exterior Kyiv instructed me that peaceable persons are being taken prisoner within the elements of town managed by Putin’s military. The Russian military breaks into non-public houses and takes whole households away. How typically does this occur? What number of have already been captured on this barbaric means? The place are these individuals now?

The occupied neighborhoods, villages, and small cities are sometimes the least seen. They sink within the deluge of stories. Not often is there electrical energy anymore, and so it’s arduous to maintain in touch with these areas. Different voices report different plights and are heard a lot louder. And also you need to take heed to them as a result of they’re simpler to listen to, as a result of you possibly can assist instantly—or a minimum of hope to assist.

Putin calls for recognition of the occupied territories in Donbas and Luhansk Oblast. All of the villages and cities which might be left to his energy will likely be silenced by the occupiers. Even underneath the circumstances of terror that Ukraine is experiencing proper now, it’s unimaginable to permit this additional swallowing of villages and cities.

Once I left my condo immediately, I noticed an empty road. No vehicles, no pedestrians. At such moments, Kyiv looks like a metropolis that has but to be inhabited—a metropolis and not using a current, with solely a previous and a future. Just a few steps additional alongside, I noticed two pedestrians, each holding flowers of their palms. That is one custom that has damaged by the chilly wall of struggle: On March 8, Worldwide Girls’s Day, girls are given flowers. Exterior the pharmacy, I noticed many ladies with flowers, ready for an extended wait within the chilly. A automotive had stopped on the pharmacy, and somebody had gotten out and handed flowers to these in line.

This massive metropolis lives on. Someplace there are nonetheless flowers. Within the closed eating places, meals is being cooked for the protection of Kyiv. The aged women and gents who had been actors in a theater group for seniors keep collectively. Just a few years in the past, my mom took over because the director of this self-organized theater group, which is named “The Night time is Nonetheless Younger.”

Now these senior actors and actresses assist with the territorial protection of Kyiv. They don’t need to depart town. I have to add that these gifted individuals know a whole bunch of poems by coronary heart and sing superbly. They often additionally write the scripts for his or her productions—even when a few of them discover it troublesome to step onto the stage. Now they don’t simply need to assist; they need to be a part of the Territorial Protection. I attempt to think about this and all of a sudden suppose: With such defenders, nothing can occur to this metropolis.

DAY 12 (MONDAY, MARCH 7): A WAY OF LIFE THAT SWALLOWS EVERYTHING

I’M HAVING A HARD TIME concentrating immediately and getting an summary of what’s occurring. The struggle is ongoing and I’m someplace within the midst of the occasions which might be creating chaotically round me. Peacetime appears far-off. New legal guidelines and a brand new actuality are unfolding.

I obtain a utility invoice for my Kyiv condo. It’s accompanied by a Telegram message that seems like an apology: “We’re writing to you with a request. In case your monetary means permit underneath the circumstances, please pay the utilities. Many Kyiv utility staff joined the Ukrainian military and are actually preventing for our freedom. Nevertheless, it’s nonetheless vital to pay the payments.”

The identical textual content was posted on the Kyiv Utilities web site. I remembered the faces of the workers of those corporations—that are so incompatible with the struggle. Wherever I look, in all places, I see struggle. It has turn out to be a complete, all-encompassing lifestyle that swallows every thing.

In the course of the day I met an previous buddy, a historian and sociologist who lives far-off on the opposite aspect of town. Early within the morning he went to town middle to assist a buddy’s mom evacuate.

The mom waited on the station with 4 small luggage and a suitcase, despite the fact that my buddy requested her to carry only one. I heard her voice on the telephone, crying as she described the difficulties of boarding the crowded practice, then crying once more as she defined she had made it onto a practice automotive and located a spot.

My buddy can’t discover peace. Yesterday, he helped his uncle escape {a partially} burned-out village close to Kyiv and now he’s searching for the telephone numbers of those that are nonetheless there. On this quaint little village, known as Horenka, the pharmacy was shelled and destroyed on February 28. Then, originally of March, Horenka was repeatedly shelled once more with Grad rockets.

Just a few load-bearing partitions stay from a lot of the homes. I’ve visited a number of occasions up to now, however now I don’t acknowledge something from the images of the ruins.

In Zaporizhzhya Oblast, two postal staff had been shot useless of their mail truck whereas making an attempt to ship pensions to aged individuals who may now not gather the cash themselves. I can image this sort of Ukrainian mail truck very effectively—a number of occasions after I was younger, I noticed postal staff ship my grandma’s pension to her. She was weak and couldn’t depart the condo, however she was very proud when the small pension, which was quickly devaluing resulting from inflation, was handed to her personally. She was nearly pals with one of many postal staff. They all the time shared a little bit well mannered chat and, in my reminiscence, they each regarded blissful whereas doing so. Two girls who gave one another the present of their presence and assist.

The supply of the pension was an emblem of care; it was a human gesture—greater than merely welfare from the corrupt state. I can image a mail truck, however picturing how such a truck could possibly be shot at is past my creativeness.

I want that everybody who delivers one thing, who cares for somebody, reaches their locations safely tomorrow. That’s what I’m hoping for this March 8. I will likely be remembering those that, regardless of the hazard to their lives, proceed to handle the individuals of this nation and attempt to attain somebody.

DAY 11 (SUNDAY, MARCH 6): “IT’S 3:30 P.M. AND WE’RE STILL ALIVE”

SOMETIMES lately, it’s arduous to know tomorrow. Tomorrow appears an eternity away, as if it had been occurring on one other planet. One can think about tomorrow in principle, however not as a second in a single’s personal passage of time—solely as a narrative one tells oneself.

I wakened with the sensation that it’s good I’m in Kyiv, and that I’ve not left town. I wished to exit on the streets immediately, however I couldn’t as a result of I nonetheless had heaps to do. In spite of everything, it was a special occasion. I had organized to see a colleague of mine, Polina Veller, a younger artist and designer from Kyiv, whom I met lately in a grocery retailer.

Polina is staying in Kyiv together with her husband and younger daughter, who can’t tolerate lengthy journeys and desires to remain in a crib. When the struggle started, Polina began utilizing plastic cable ties within the colours of the Ukrainian flag to make masks that appear like unusual veils. We determined to fulfill halfway between our residences and play at vogue images. We had been involved with the absurdity of our exercise, with the absurdity of mainly any exercise within the face of present occasions. And with the concept you retain going regardless of all of it.

A person approached and stated that he’d seen me wanting on the road by the viewfinder of my digital camera. “I’d prefer to warn you,” he stated, “in these occasions you may get shot within the head for that!” I replied in amazement that I used to be simply doing my job as a journalist. Then he stated, “In that case, perhaps it’s alright.” Solely when he was gone did I notice that he had threatened me. Pressure grows within the metropolis. A digital camera symbolizes a watch that may be aimed toward anybody. Images turns into much more suspicious than traditional.

Just a few pedestrians watched with undisguised shock as Polina posed together with her masks for my footage.

I walked again residence. My little digital camera, which I like to hold with me, all of a sudden felt like a defend defending me in opposition to imprecise suspicion. I assumed concerning the energy of the photographic picture—an influence that can be utilized to testify to what has occurred, however which can also be feared exactly for that reason.

On the way in which again, I noticed many younger faces. A bunch of volunteers had been busy accumulating meals that they might distribute over the subsequent few weeks. Are you able to imagine that simply two weeks in the past, every thing in Kyiv was functioning as traditional—cafes, eating places, retailers, and grocery shops? Folks walked the streets, generally and not using a vacation spot, simply strolling to acquainted or in style locations.

One peculiarity of struggle is that this new, purposeful strolling. To exit, you must have one thing vital in thoughts—you attain your vacation spot and then you definately go straight again. And nearly all locations are linked tofood or drugs not directly.

Quite a bit occurred immediately. Within the night I discovered {that a} buddy of mine was evacuated from the small city of Irpin, northwest of Kyiv. On the way in which, she misplaced her canine, who was frightened by the explosions and ran off in panic. She noticed together with her personal eyes how girls with kids had been being focused as they tried to get on an evacuation bus. Then one thing heavy crashed to the bottom not removed from them, a bomb maybe, and everybody on the bus was knocked over. My buddy instructed me, “I need to survive so I can describe this evacuation in The Hague.” A photographer buddy of mine was additionally evacuated from Irpin. For some incomprehensible motive, he was shot at, together with others who had been making an attempt to get on the bus. A bullet hit him within the higher arm.

Some had been murdered throughout the evacuation. The estimate up to now is six girls and youngsters, however the actual variety of victims and injured remains to be being clarified. A poet buddy of my dad and mom stayed in Irpin along with his spouse, as they’re caring for his aged mom, who can now not stand up. When my dad and mom known as them, the spouse began to scream. Just a few hours later they get a textual content message from her: “It’s 3:30 p.m. and we’re nonetheless alive.”

Humanitarian help nonetheless has not reached Mariupol within the south. We don’t know what number of victims town has to mourn. The individuals there nonetheless don’t have drugs, meals, water, or electrical energy. They’re shelled day-after-day. The pinnacle of the municipal council of Hostomel, an embattled village northwest of Kyiv, was intentionally killed as a result of, regardless of the hazard, he continued distributing bread and drugs to his neighborhood. Hostomel is partially occupied. As of immediately, Putin has introduced additional assaults all through the nation. He intends to bomb navy infrastructure, which is commonly subsequent to homes and residential settlements. Some individuals can not depart as a result of they’re caring for his or her kin who can not, or is not going to, flee.

These crimes are occurring earlier than the eyes of the entire world. Folks even say upfront who will likely be killed tomorrow—like in a jail the place everyone seems to be already sentenced to the dying penalty. However that is solely the imaginative and prescient of a petty dictator. We’re preventing again. We are attempting to assist one another and never permit these mindless deaths.

However the international, bigger world appears to be watching these prison proclamations with a wierd endurance. There’s a global worry of the dictator. Maybe some nonetheless suppose that in the event that they don’t problem or provoke him, he received’t do something worse. This warning has already price a lot, and it’s getting costlier each minute. We’re all victims, however we’re additionally all partly accountable. We can not wait any longer! Cease this violence!

DAY 10 (SATURDAY, MARCH 5): “A GREAT BEAUTY”

TENTH DAY OF THE WAR. I discovered tips on how to darken the home windows of my condo with the skinny blankets I’ve, in order that inside there’s a gentle, muted gentle. I keep in mind the primary morning of the struggle. The whole lot was as traditional—I wakened a little bit late, at 9, and noticed a collection of messages on my mobile phone from pals and acquaintances: “Please, reply the telephone!” Time and again the identical message.

The disaster must be represented: Solely as a part of a narrative can or not it’s acknowledged as a disaster. Communication can be a means out—the hope is that after every thing is reported and communicated, one of many addressees can finish the disaster.

Our skies are nonetheless open to navy planes and bombs. That’s the reason our cities with males, girls, kids, houses, and museums are nonetheless accessible to artillery. This morning I learn that in Bila Tserkva, one of the vital lovely cities in Kyiv Oblast, twenty residential homes had been destroyed by an air strike. Bila Tserkva means “White Church” in English. The variety of victims remains to be being clarified. Happily, a well timed evacuation was organized.

A buddy from Zaporizhzhya, in southeastern Ukraine, known as me and excitedly instructed me that humanitarian help within the type of meals and drugs was lastly being delivered to Mariupol. His neighbor heard from supposedly dependable sources that this struggle will likely be over as early as mid-March. Laughing, I stated goodbye.

I keep in mind a chic woman I noticed earlier immediately. She was sporting an extended black coat with fur, excessive boots, and a hat, and was ready in line in entrance of a pharmacy. My mom had additionally waited, for 5 hours, on this line. The air was chilly, so my mom walked round to heat up. Sooner or later I joined her and we determined to go for a little bit stroll. Nobody in line, together with my mother and I, regarded notably fancy. Businesslike, however dressed considerably casually. So the woman within the fur coat stood out a little bit. Her eyes regarded apprehensive, however for me, at that second, she was a type of beacon. One which jogged my memory, and maybe the others in line, of a bygone Kyiv.

On the way in which again, I met a younger man in entrance of my home and spoke with him. He stated his title was Kirill. He apparently was a part of the Kyiv nightclub scene, which has developed very quickly in recent times. Now, almost day-after-day, he makes an nearly unimaginable trek from the japanese financial institution of the Dnieper throughout to the western financial institution, to prepare dinner meals within the kitchen of a restaurant for individuals in bomb shelters and the Kyiv Territorial Protection. When his time permits, he engages in artwork, music, and shamanism. Our dialog was a little bit unusual.

“It has turn out to be very troublesome to think about others,” he stated. “Because it seems, they’ll all of a sudden throw bombs at different individuals and suppose they’re proper about it, too.” He regarded instantly at me. “Do you occur to be a journalist who may write about me?” I replied that perhaps I may write about our assembly, on this diary. “Then I need to say,” he appeared very passionate now, “that every thing that’s occurring in the intervening time is a superb magnificence. I don’t need to disguise. Be at liberty to take my image when you like.”

I will need to have checked out him in amazement, as a result of he launched into a proof. “Individuals are performing higher than traditional proper now, and our nation . . .” His thought trailed off. Then he stated, “The whole lot is altering, even internationally.” His good humor blended with my bitterness. I started to snigger.

Once I bought residence that night, I discovered that the meals and drugs that was alleged to go to Mariupol didn’t attain town. The humanitarian hall didn’t work and was closed due to steady shelling. Two individuals from my circle of pals, an artist and an artwork historian who stay exterior Mariupol, have been unreachable for 4 days. The messages on the Telegram channels from Mariupol have gotten much less frequent.

I do know from an in depth buddy that the village of Horynka, close to the forest of Pushcha, was badly broken. The variety of victims is unknown, and my buddy’s uncle is at the moment hiding in a basement. We’re searching for evacuation routes for him.

It’s troublesome for me to complete this textual content. The struggle continues, however the worry of the aggressor—the respect for him—should lastly cease. I get letters from my German pals, who write: “Save your self! Putin doesn’t tolerate any losses. He has a status for destroying every thing.” I ponder what they imply by that. How did he get such a status? What does it imply that he doesn’t need to lose? What does it imply for the entire world?

DAY 9 (FRIDAY, MARCH 4): “FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM”

DURING THE NIGHT I learn that within the metropolis of Enerhodar the nuclear energy plant was attacked. I slept fitfully. There have been wounded staff who couldn’t be evacuated for hours and bled to dying. The hearth division was shot at. Three staff died, and within the morning the wounded had been evacuated. The nuclear energy plant in Chernobyl is occupied, and for ten days the workers haven’t been in a position to go residence. It is vitally harmful to remain there for therefore lengthy. The information was insufferable. I fell asleep once more.

The subsequent morning, I wakened fairly early in a vibrant temper and with the sensation that this sunny day had one thing to supply me. I wished to get out on the road sooner than I did yesterday, to see what was occurring within the metropolis. Little was left of the melancholy I felt yesterday. Then I found the rationale for this modification: I now not imagine within the struggle! It merely can’t be, I assumed. It isn’t true. What neighboring nation bombs a metropolis to rubble, within the twenty-first century?

The invaders haven’t any political plan, they haven’t any capacity to come back to energy right here completely. You’ll be able to’t occupy this nation. It’s unrealistic. The struggle is a dream, a dictator’s fantasy.

I wished to see if the little retailer subsequent to our home nonetheless had bread. I’ve not been in a position to get bread for the reason that third day of the struggle—it’s normally offered out.

The shop was full. With some amazement, I found a bunch who I took to be representatives of the worldwide navy. They spoke English and wanted assist translating. Then I spotted that they weren’t troopers however unarmed, if well-protected, escorts of a struggle photographer who was additionally procuring within the retailer. I attempted to assist her select a detergent. The small group exuded enthusiasm, humor, and inspiration. My temper all of a sudden darkened. One of many three escorts proudly stated to me, “Are you aware who you’re standing with? This is among the finest photographers on the earth!”

The photographer laughed and shrugged it off. “Please,” she stated, “I’m embarrassed.” Then she instructed me her title. I can’t keep in mind the title. I’ve been having a tough time concentrating currently. Then she stated, “You’ll be able to comply with me on Instagram.” The group purchased quite a lot of detergent, nearly every thing within the retailer. I instructed them, “Good to have you ever with us,” and stated goodbye. However shortly an uneasiness came to visit me. I spotted that it’s not a very good signal when a well known struggle photographer units up store right here with a bunch of escorts.

In a aspect road, I found a bakery that was fairly costly earlier than the struggle. It was open for enterprise. Good white bread was on the cabinets, they usually additionally had espresso. It was a miracle. My first actual cup of espresso from a restaurant. Women and men stood there consuming cappuccinos and discussing whether or not or to not keep on the town. One older man, who regarded like a geography professor, stated he wouldn’t depart town till he needed to spend day-after-day and evening within the shelter. The bystanders tried to persuade him that it could by no means come to that. Kyiv was a holy metropolis in any case. The town would by no means allow it!

Afterwards, I went to an empty road to take a photograph. As I took the digital camera out of my pocket, a automotive stopped subsequent to me. 4 armed males jumped out. They took my mobile phone, searched my bag, then requested who I labored for. It took a couple of minutes. Then they excused themselves, all 4 of them wanting nervous and drained.

Considered one of them stated, “I perceive it’s your job, however please don’t take footage! You’ll be able to see what they’re doing.” He meant the attackers. “They’re shelling the residential buildings now, they’re utilizing every thing as a goal. It appeared unimaginable, however it’s occurring. There are 840 injured kids.”

My images are innocent, I assumed. I’m being cautious, in any case. Apart from, our metropolis is photographed on a regular basis anyway. However perhaps I should be much more cautious.

I considered that quantity: 840 injured kids. Our sky should be protected! The information repeated that quantity, but it surely’s arduous to actually grasp it.

I’m certain that the world is not going to proceed to simply watch this—I can’t watch it anymore both. Don’t be afraid of this prison, he acts with out logic. For those who shield the sky right here, you save a lot!

At residence I bought a message {that a} buddy of mine is searching for her acquaintance, an artist who lives along with his spouse and two young children in Mariupol and has been unreachable for 3 days. The final message from him was, “If anybody who works for Western media, inform them: We’re right here nearly with out water, with out meals, with out drugs, and now the electrical energy is reduce off. They’re destroying our city. Sartana, a village, retains getting shelled. I do not know if there may be something left. So many victims.” I do know that Mariupol—a Russian-speaking city within the Donbas, with lovely little homes from the nineteenth century—is in darkness, with out electrical energy.

Eight hundred and forty. That is now not struggle, that is mass homicide of the defenseless. The Ukrainian military is defending us, however the Russian tanks, artillery, and rifles are aiming at peaceable individuals, girls, and youngsters, at residential homes! It’s time to cease being afraid and shut the sky.

In Russia, unbiased media are both shut down or censored; what stays is the opposition newspaper Republic, which is making an attempt to outlive regardless of censorship. One headline learn: “Russia is making an attempt to revive the Soviet Empire. However there may be little probability of that.” That is what some Russian oppositionists worry: They imagine there’s a probability, albeit a slim one, that the empire will likely be restored. In actuality, there is no such thing as a probability in any respect.

THURSDAY, MARCH 3 (DAY 8): ALIENATION

IT IS THE EVENING of the eighth day of the struggle, and I’m images of empty streets taken on my mobile phone or my small digital digital camera. Once I take images on the streets, I strive to not present faces. I really feel that something that has a face, something that could possibly be identifiable, needs to remain within the shadows.

Per week has handed for the reason that invasion started. Regardless of how arduous I strive, I can’t keep in mind any specific information or occasion from that first day, despite the fact that I’ve been fastidiously writing down vital information in a pocket book. Have I turn out to be accustomed to those occasions? Right this moment, a way of alienation came to visit me: I felt at a wierd take away from every thing. I attempt to place the second when this unusual state started, and I discover it.

Within the morning, after I was nonetheless in mattress, I noticed a video clip of a Russian soldier working a Grad system: a multiple-rocket launcher that the Russian military has been utilizing to assault peaceable districts in Ukrainian cities. The soldier within the video was crying. He stated he wished to apologize to his younger daughter as a result of he could also be responsible of killing kids in Ukraine.

Then he addressed different members of the navy and requested them to disobey orders and to not come to Ukraine. I watched him cry repeatedly. Then I noticed footage of the destroyed condo buildings in Chernihiv. These two items of stories merged in my notion. Many pals of my mom stay in Chernihiv. They had been all the time happy with this small and clear metropolis. I do know that now, as I write this, town is being shelled. An oil depot has been set on hearth, and the small city, which was a favourite trip vacation spot for a lot of of my acquaintances, is now threatened with ecological catastrophe. The hazard comes from the sky, the homes are bombed. One begins to rely the victims.

Over the previous few days, I’ve been questioning how obedience works. The soldier within the video cried solely after he had obeyed his orders. That was too late. This struggle might be ended if the orders to shell houses are ignored—by troopers, even by generals. I do know that sounds naive. However on such a day, naivety is one of the best shelter. The partitions will not be very thick, however it’s deep sufficient.

To this point, thirty-three useless residents have been discovered within the rubble of Chernihiv. Right this moment feels notably ominous. Virtually each half hour an explosion might be heard exterior on the streets.

A younger lady dwelling in the home subsequent door is making an attempt to rescue pets that had been left behind. Maybe the house owners couldn’t take them after they fled. She finds them comfy, heat locations and offers them meals. An aged woman who lives throughout the road goes procuring a number of occasions all through the day in order that her neighbors can keep residence in security.

A widely known trainer, eighty-six years previous, spends most nights within the basement of a college that’s subsequent to her home. Right this moment she recorded a video. In a definite, nearly forgotten, and noble Kyiv accent, she addressed the ladies of Russia: They need to not let their sons go to struggle.

It’s snowing, the air is damp and chilly, and it appears to me that I can now not get near my very own metropolis, the place the place I stay, whose occasions I witness. I resist the violence greater than I used to, I resist acknowledging that the struggle is occurring, that it’s allowed, that it has been allowed.

I can attempt to settle for it. I can attempt to face actuality. However then I ask myself: How will all of us have the ability to stay with the thought that these struggle crimes came about, day-after-day, on our doorsteps? Sooner or later we must forgive ourselves that this inhumanity was even potential. However to actually have the ability to do this, you must shield the skies in my nation. The bombing of houses should lastly cease.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2 (DAY 7): TIME TO BE BRAVE

THE CITY IS SINKING INTO SPRING FOG, however it’s nonetheless chilly. Since yesterday, right here, within the middle of Kyiv, you possibly can inform a narrative concerning the struggle on each road nook. Virtually each intersection is guarded day and evening by armed members of the Territorial Protection. There are extra teams of saboteurs within the metropolis, extra violence. I look with reduction into the eyes of the women and men of the protection. In one of many faces yesterday I acknowledged with amazement a barista who was in style in our neighborhood as a result of he painted notably lovely swans on the milk foam of the coffees.

Exterior, I hear one other explosion. At such occasions, worry overtakes me, and I take into consideration tips on how to save myself and the individuals I really like from this example. It’s all the time a sequence of relationships that I take into consideration, it’s not solely my father and mom, but in addition my aunt who’s mendacity at residence sick and weak. And never solely my aunt, but in addition her entire household, after which I see different connections which might be arduous to interrupt.

The reply is to maintain everybody secure, not simply people. Now could be the time to behave bravely and discover robust, efficient means in opposition to the aggressor. In my creativeness, 100 variants are already taking part in out for the way all this may cease, how the struggle will finish, at this particular second. Then I think about us dancing within the streets.

My day has been lengthy and feels prefer it has a number of days locked up in it. The pictures of the empty streets stuffed with droning silence are nonetheless earlier than my eyes. I’ve skilled and seen lots immediately, I even visited an exhibition.

The artist Nikita Kadan, a buddy of mine, has moved to a small non-public gallery positioned in a basement. Actually, it’s not a gallery anymore, however an area that serves as a shelter and condo for artists and their pals. Yesterday Nikita known as me and invited me to a bunch present he was placing collectively from the gallery’s assortment. I used to be about to go meet him, however then the sirens howled as soon as once more, and I needed to keep inside.

So the exhibition “opened” yesterday with out guests and was supposed to shut the identical day. However then he determined that it could keep open for me to go to immediately. I’d be unspeakably blissful about such an honor in peacetime, and even now, when the air over town turns into extra sinister, I discover the traces of pleasure that this sense leaves on the sandy backside of my restlessness. The exhibition is named “Worry.”

There was one other air alert, and after I was lastly about to depart this afternoon, my father known as me and requested me to take him alongside. Considerably reluctantly, I agreed. After which the three of us went! My father, my mom, and me.

Our means was lengthy, town appeared unusual. We will need to have walked greater than half an hour—it was my longest stroll for the reason that starting of the struggle.

The best way again was shorter, quick like a leap.

I loved the exhibition very a lot. I’m nonetheless eager about the images and this unimaginable alternative to have a look at them within the midst of the struggle and embrace them in my reminiscence.

What can artwork do? What can a single voice do? What can the braveness of resistance do and what’s the level of resistance within the first place? I maintain getting emails and messages telling me to be pacifist. Ukrainians have by no means provoked a struggle, by no means wished or supported a struggle. The values of pacifism are among the many most vital values of my nation. I grew up with a saying: A very powerful factor is that there be no struggle (лишь бы не было войны). The shuddering reminiscences of the Second World Conflict, a few of which came about on Ukrainian soil, are nonetheless very a lot alive.

Nevertheless, there are values a lot larger than Ukraine that should be defended. There are conditions the place resistance means salvation. And it’s not about self-help, it’s about rescue from a a lot better violence, from a way more horrible struggle. I hope that day-after-day extra individuals perceive this, get up, and put an finish to this violence.

TUESDAY, MARCH 1 (DAY 6): NOT A MINUTE MORE OF THIS WAR!

RUSSIA HAS ANNOUNCED that it’ll bomb the realm round St. Sophia’s Cathedral, which is a UNESCO World Heritage Web site. Not the St. Sophia Cathedral itself, however a secret service constructing that’s within the rapid neighborhood. In the event that they do this, the cathedral will definitely be affected as effectively.

My dad and mom and I stay subsequent to St. Sophia. I had determined to spend the nightly curfew at their place immediately. In the meantime, our apprehensive neighbors went to the shelters. Everybody has lengthy since chosen a shelter for themselves; they attempt to do every thing they’ll to really feel comfy there.

I’m in an absurdly good temper. However this good temper is of little use, superimposed as it’s on a deep anxiousness and unhappiness. Our condo is darkened. I be taught that the western financial institution of the Dnieper River in Kyiv is underneath hearth, together with Zhulany Airport, pretty near town middle. The variety of casualties is unclear.

Nevertheless, all my ideas are with Kharkiv. I see movies of burning streets on Twitter and Telegram, and I do know from acquaintances within the metropolis that individuals there have been staying in shelters for days. The well-known economics professor Oleh Amosov, head of the division of financial principle and public finance on the Kharkiv Regional Institute of Public Administration, died of accidents after an assault. That is the second day town has been bombed. My subsequent ideas are for 2 cities within the Luhansk and Donetsk districts: Severodonetsk and Volnovakha.

I used to be typically on the street round Severodonetsk. Even from 2014 to 2016, throughout wartime, this metropolis regarded cheerful. Cafes and eating places had been open nearly all evening, and the blended crowd there all the time amused me: Western-dressed and generally haughty representatives of the worldwide press mingled with unique, spoiled younger girls from Donetsk, who had determined to spend a number of months of their residence area on the escape path to central Ukraine.

Now, Severodonetsk and Volnovakha are being destroyed. There isn’t a extra electrical energy, no water. Russian mortar shells are falling from the sky. All those that attempt to present themselves and their household with meals or water are dying within the streets.

I wish to scream. Save these individuals! Journalists who’ve skilled wartime in Donbas and lived within the largely peaceable Severodonetsk, get outraged! We’d like humanitarian corridors and zones the place males, girls, and youngsters can save themselves. Put much more strain on Russia. Putin has sentenced these cities to dying. Russia is destroying the Donbas. No, that sounds improper. “Donbas” is only a phrase, and this phrase says little. It’s important to save the inhabitants of those cities. Truly, you must save every thing, the entire nation. Urgently.

Now I’m making an attempt to know the place my good temper comes from.

It’s the sixth day of the struggle, which I really feel has already lasted fifty years. Right this moment I drank a cappuccino for the primary time for the reason that invasion started.

I went for a stroll to breathe some recent air on this primary day of spring and perhaps do some procuring. Realizing that many grocery store cabinets had been already empty, I made a decision to go to a bigger division retailer that had lately opened not removed from us. How nice it was to be there! The procuring corridor is deep underground, everybody felt secure and walked previous the cabinets with a slowness that has not been seen in Kyiv for six days.

An aged woman stood subsequent to the espresso machine. Her procuring bag was small and half empty. Then all of a sudden I noticed a younger, fashionably dressed lady strategy the woman. Then she pressed a invoice into their hand. The woman was stunned and stated, “However I did not ask for something. I’ve every thing!” A younger man got here as much as her; he additionally slipped her a invoice. The aged woman resisted at first, however then she appeared blissful and grateful.

On the way in which again, I took an image of an previous man sitting alone on a bench in a park. He wished to speak to me. His spouse was ailing, he instructed me, and he was taking good care of her. He wished to handle her till tomorrow—then he’ll be a part of the Kyiv Territorial Protection. He and his spouse are sixty-six years previous.

In his youth he served within the navy. He stated he now not wished to simply watch our metropolis endure from this fixed shelling. I began thanking him—I couldn’t cease. I used every kind of phrases and phrases of thanks, however I wished so as to add extra to those expressions, as if that may forestall this aged man who’s caring for his sick spouse from risking his life.

I count on an answer. The answer should be found, labored out, and applied. The aggression should cease. Not yet one more minute of struggle!

The sirens are wailing once more. My father sits within the subsequent room studying English vocabulary. An excellent buddy of mine calls and says that maybe the final evacuation bus will depart from a Kyiv synagogue tomorrow. Perhaps I can attempt to persuade my dad and mom to depart town in any case. In useless I attempt to discuss to them about it. We’re wanted right here extra, they are saying, it’s not the time to depart Kyiv. I agree and attempt to sleep a number of extra hours. We’ll keep and see what occurs.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28 (DAY 5): THE NEW VULNERABILITY 

IT’S A SUNNY SPRING DAY that, just like the final three, ends in darkness. I sit within the darkened condo. Some lights burn, however these lights are dim and hidden. I learn the information that Mariupol is bravely resisting Russian troops, however can also be largely in darkness. Russia is attacking infrastructure as deliberate, placing individuals within the metropolis underneath artillery hearth, with out electrical energy. Preventing round Kyiv continues.

However my ideas are with Kharkiv. I see the pictures of condo blocks destroyed by rockets and mortar shells and know that immediately Putin’s military murdered 9 individuals, together with three kids, on this Russian-speaking metropolis that’s resisting occupation. Thirty-seven persons are injured, eighty-seven condo buildings ruined. I stay in Kyiv in an identical constructing—a weak refuge, my very own condo, the place I all the time really feel so good. Even now! Even now!

This struggle is demonstrating a brand new degree of vulnerability to the world. Virtually all pharmacies are closed. Electrical energy, water, and heating are underneath fixed risk of failure. The injuries are getting larger. However there’s a whisper consistently repeating in my ear, even whether it is generally nearly silent: They maintain preventing, we maintain preventing—then the injuries heal sooner.

The general public areas, squares, streets within the metropolis are empty. The horizon is all of a sudden nearer, the Kyiv hills, the asphalt, the courtyards of the buildings; every thing appears to be invited and concerned within the struggle.

At midday I made a decision to go for a stroll: On the fifth day of the struggle, when the curfew lifted, I accompanied a German buddy, who couldn’t keep in Kyiv, to the railway depot. We had been going to take the subway first. Impressed and nearly drunk by the concept the subway in Kyiv was working once more, we walked to the Golden Gate station. Then, on the entrance, we discovered that this station may solely be used as a shelter.

(As I write this, sirens shatter the silence. It’s 2:30 within the evening and I resolve to remain the place I’m and end this diary entry.)

So we needed to stroll to the railway depot. A journey of twenty-five minutes, which for me was a stroll into one other huge actuality. Because the starting of the struggle, I’ve not visited Shevchenko Boulevard, a large road main all the way down to the depot. We walked alongside the road and each home. Each intersection carried one thing new, a brand new language, a brand new narrative about our shared actuality. The town regarded peaceable; the solar’s rays made this picture much more jarring. We shortly stated goodbye, and I strolled again alone.

I wished to cross the road so I may overlook the previous botanical backyard. Immediately I noticed a pile of steel on the aspect of the street—a shot up, deformed automotive—then a second one close by, plus a damaged promoting signal—shattered glass, steel, and plastic on the bottom. The botanical backyard was wiped from my thoughts. What remained was the insufferable realization that this struggle, this unimaginable, illogical, prison struggle, was nonetheless occurring in any case.

At about the identical time, peaceable residents of town of Berdyansk within the south of the nation gathered in entrance of their native authorities constructing, which was occupied by Putin’s military and guarded by armed troopers. The ladies shouted on the troopers in Russian, “How are you going to look your moms within the face? You introduced struggle and slaughter to our land! Disgrace on you!” Outdated individuals had been additionally within the crowd, they weren’t afraid. The troopers regarded demoralized; they replied, “We got here to guard you!”

The ladies resisted. They continued to protest, “We had been by no means in peril right here. There was no risk to us right here earlier than you got here. Now, with you, due to you, we’re within the biggest hazard.” Then got here cursed insults, which have a really nice richness within the Ukrainian and Russian languages.

This capacity of the residents of Berdyansk to struggle on and on, to strategy the troopers unarmed and shout the reality of their faces, even when town has nearly fallen into Putin’s palms, guarantees lots. It’s hope itself.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 27 (DAY 4): AN EXTINGUISHED CITY

NORMALLY, the numerous brightly lit home windows in Kyiv heat town’s chilly February days. The lights have one thing secret, non-public, however on the similar time cozy about them. However now town has gone out. Individuals are afraid of Russian missiles and artillery hearth. I’ve taped my home windows shut in case of shelling, in order that they received’t shatter. I am going out on the balcony to verify if my condo is darkish sufficient. I put just one lamp in every room—they hardly give any gentle and are on the ground. It’s troublesome for me to seek out my means across the condo, however I attempt to uncover a brand new type of coziness.

The sirens that warn of air strikes wail with an extended sign, considerably paying homage to the playful sounds that elephants use to speak. In Kyiv, the wailing of sirens can also be a type of communication, however the message is all the time the identical: Conceal, disguise effectively!

When daybreak got here, for some motive I made a decision to scrub my condo. I assumed: proper now you must keep on with the plans, to the same old routines. From the skin, my condo is nearly black, with its empty, darkish home windows greeting all the opposite residences within the metropolis, that are additionally empty and darkish.

The darkness is scary, however on the similar time I sense that town has determined to defend itself. On official Telegram channels, I examine so-called “diversionary teams,” Russian models transferring into Kyiv as a vanguard. Like terrorists. Their aim is to destabilize town, perform assaults on politicians, and finally take Kyiv. One such group seems to have shot on the automotive of two girls who had determined to flee town with their kids this morning. The ladies and their kids died.

My ideas turn out to be as darkish because the home windows of my condo. Whereas cleansing, I assumed that after I write this diary, I ought to make a joke about housekeeping throughout struggle. My tip could be: “Cleanliness is a should in a darkish room with taped home windows—when you had been going to do it earlier and are nearly crying now, go forward and mop your condo anyway. True, you’ll not see something. And the condo could not get a lot cleaner, however following procedures and implementing plans is extra vital.”

The fourth day of the struggle is over. Half town is preventing in opposition to the normalization of violence that’s knocking on each door. Conflict additionally checks us to see if now we have even a contact of compassion for these despatched right here to homicide. Because the struggle started, sixteen kids have been killed throughout the nation. In my city, 9 “civilians” (I hate that phrase increasingly) have died up to now and forty-seven have been injured, together with three kids.

The destruction of the small city of Shchastye, “Happiness,” in northeastern Ukraine started with {an electrical} station being shelled. Sooner or later it was destroyed, the sunshine went out, the water, the heating. In misery, individuals, particularly aged residents, went exterior to get water or meals. Then the troopers attacked, with artillery and rockets. A bus with fleeing individuals was fired upon. No journalists work on this space in the intervening time, nobody counts the injured, the useless. Who will describe what Putin has performed to the Donbas for the reason that starting of the struggle, since his operation to “Shield of the Folks of Donbas from Ukrainian Fascists”?

By occupying these territories and waging info warfare, Putin has managed to isolate this area from the world. Human rights organizations haven’t been in a position to freely function there since 2014, and now the Russian military is as soon as once more displaying how little it values the lives of its individuals.

From the information I be taught that within the settlement of Ivankiv in Kyiv Oblast, the Regional Historical past Museum was destroyed. In it had been the works of Maria Primachenko, one of the vital well-known twentieth century artists in Ukraine. A joint exhibition of my images and her portray had been deliberate for the autumn, which is a superb honor for me. I’m certain that, one way or the other, someplace, this exhibition will happen.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 26 (DAY 3)

My first evening within the shelter. The Telegram channels of the Kyiv authorities warn that it will likely be a heavy evening and that the Russian navy will assault town. However right here within the bunker it’s just about empty. Many are attempting to remain at residence, in hope that nothing will occur. As of Saturday evening, there may be an nearly thirty-hour curfew within the metropolis. It in all probability received’t be potential to depart the room on Sunday.

Our small bunker is positioned within the middle of Kyiv, not removed from the Golden Gate. It’s one and a half flooring deep underground, to be exact—a community of corridors and corridors. They’re clear, comfy, and heat. I like this place as a result of it gives shelter for greater than 100 individuals. There’s consuming water, everybody brings one thing, there may be additionally sufficient meals. Everybody who can’t stand the sirens and the thunder of the artillery and rocket hearth is allowed to come back right here. There are additionally some households who’re right here more often than not.

On the darkish entrance to our basement, I see the silhouettes of residents scurrying previous one another. You’ll be able to overhear their occasional, petty arguments.

Two older shadows go by two youthful ones:

“Good night!” “However the night is just not good!” the youthful ones protest. “We want you a very good night anyway,” the older ones say in a triumphant tone, “as a result of we imply effectively. And we are going to proceed to want it, to you and to the others!” The shadows disappear into the depths of the cellar.

I orient myself within the current as a result of the times provide little construction. Sooner or later I visited my dad and mom, each of them will not be prepared to depart Kyiv. They need to keep right here till the second of “our victory,” as they are saying.

My father is a translator, he interprets German poetry into Russian. Due to his translations of Paul Celan, I fell in love with this poet after I was nonetheless a pupil. For years, for the reason that Maidan Revolution, he has printed his translations nearly completely in Ukraine.

He took half in protests again then, I keep in mind calling him from Berlin and discovering out that he was standing with the demonstrators on the parliament constructing. Then I heard an explosion; fortunately he wasn’t damage. Now he’s in Kyiv. He feels fairly weak after an extended chilly and can’t go to the shelter. Perhaps he doesn’t need to both. Day by day I see how he continues to work on his translations. Regardless of the rocket assaults, regardless of the hazard, or perhaps due to it.

As I write, it happens to me that throughout the day I noticed many smiling individuals. For instance, a lady who was sitting within the park on a bench subsequent to 2 massive procuring luggage. She spoke to me in an absurdly blissful voice, saying that she was ready for her nephew to assist her carry the luggage residence. “I’m so blissful to have you ever standing subsequent to me now, speaking to me. When there are two of us, I’m much less afraid of the artillery.”

She used to work as a museum information at St. Sophia Cathedral, she stated, now she’s a pensioner. She is satisfied, she stated, that Ukraine will defeat the Russian invaders. “Once I take into consideration the frescoes of St. Sophia, I imagine that Ukraine will likely be protected by the entire world.” She smiled, tears standing in her eyes. ”We will likely be victorious,” she stated. I didn’t know if she was crying extra or laughing extra, however I felt her braveness and admired her.

Is immediately solely the third day of the struggle? Mariupol: fifty-eight civilians wounded. Kyiv: thirty-five individuals, together with two kids. That is removed from a whole listing. It feels unusual to seek out myself on this broad, unarmed, nearly delicate class: “civilians.” For struggle, a class of individuals is created who stay “exterior the sport.” They’re shelled; they should endure the shelling; they’re injured, however they don’t appear to have the ability to give an sufficient response to it.

I don’t imagine this to be the case. There’s something hidden within the smiles that I noticed a number of occasions immediately. A secret weapon, a sinister one. I have to attempt to sleep finally and attain my condo within the morning. Having breakfast in your individual kitchen—that may be an infinite pleasure!

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 25 (DAY 2), NIGHT: TENSE SILENCE

The evening has all of a sudden turn out to be silent. Simply an hour in the past, round midnight, sirens could possibly be heard, then distant thunder, maybe rocket or artillery hits. And now—a tense silence.

We needs to be within the shelter by now, however I’ve already been there twice immediately. My dad and mom are drained and I’m staying within the condo with them for the evening. The thought was which you can relaxation up right here, if solely a little bit bit. We’re prepared to depart the condo on a minute’s discover and take shelter within the basement of the home.

I discover it troublesome to gather my ideas. Totally different experiences of immediately crumble into the feeling of many days, roughly the identical, standing gray one subsequent to the opposite. The area within the metropolis is altering. The stroll from my home to the closest grocery retailer, which normally took not more than ten minutes, stretches out, the gap changing into an extended trek.

The truth that the shop was open in any respect was a miracle. I purchased apples, greens, and buckwheat—however after I returned to the realm an hour later, I noticed the disillusioned faces of two girls now standing in entrance of a closed door. Somebody stated there was one other grocery retailer 500 meters away, down the identical road. But it surely wasn’t excellent news for the 2 girls—500 meters on foot? The sirens are wailing, and fewer and fewer persons are within the streets.

Time can also be altering. On the way in which again from the grocery retailer, I discovered {that a} kindergarten close to town of Sumy, within the north-east of the nation, was shelled immediately. A kindergarten and a shelter. Seventeen kids injured, two critically. I finished and leaned in opposition to a wall of a home. The day all of a sudden turned infinitely lengthy. Can this struggle be endured yet one more minute? Why doesn’t the world put an finish to this occurring?

It was a spring day, the sunspots performed on the partitions of the homes and the white partitions of the St. Sophia Cathedral. The sirens wailed once more—the sign to go to the bunker. An excellent buddy of mine, the artist Nikita Kadan, had misplaced his bank card and the 2 of us walked the streets to discover a working ATM.

One journalist had a backpack with him, with every thing he may want within the coming days. We noticed some passers-by and reporters standing in entrance of one of many massive inns with their cameras, reporting. The second day of the struggle, because it seems, is a step already taken in a repeating sequence.

Within the night I discovered {that a} city within the Luhansk area had been 80 % destroyed by the Russian military, an attractive little city that was in Ukrainian-controlled territory. It was known as Shchastye, that means “Happiness.” The husband of a buddy, who was already secure, managed to flee. He left city and not using a toothbrush, socks, or a suitcase.

A automotive picked him up on the street. He instructed my buddy that as he drove alongside, he noticed the corpses of individuals mendacity subsequent to their homes, doorways, and the small cellars the place many Ukrainians retailer potatoes for the winter. So these had been “the individuals of the Donbas” that Putin claimed he was saving from “genocide.”

Happiness now not exists. I used to be there a number of years in the past and photographed streets, additionally admiring a hill that dominates the panorama. Within the metropolis individuals spoke Russian and Ukrainian—I wrote about them and about their unusual and humorous do-it-yourself playgrounds.

Then I go to sleep on this black evening in any case.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 25 (DAY 2): AIR ALERT

I get up at seven within the morning to the sirens warning of air raids. My mom is satisfied that Russia is not going to dare to shell the thousand-year-old St. Sophia Cathedral within the metropolis. She believes that our home, which is within the rapid neighborhood of the cathedral, is secure. That’s why she decides to not go to the bunkers. My father is sleeping.

I feel if a UNESCO monument would really cease the Russian military from shelling, this struggle wouldn’t have began within the first place. My head is throbbing with ideas: Kyiv underneath hearth, deserted by the entire world, which is simply able to sacrifice Ukraine within the hope that it’ll feed and satiate the aggressor for a while.

Kyiv is being shelled, for the primary time after the Second World Conflict.

I’m battling myself. I do know slowly the world is waking up and beginning to see that it’s not nearly Kyiv and Ukraine in any case. It’s about each home, each door, it’s about each life in Europe that’s threatened as of immediately.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 24 (DAY 1): THE BEGINNING

Right this moment I wakened early within the morning to see eight unanswered calls on my mobile phone. It was my dad and mom and a few pals. At first I assumed one thing had occurred to my household and that my pals had been making an attempt to succeed in me as a result of for some motive my dad and mom had alerted them first. Then my creativeness went in one other course and I considered an accident, a harmful state of affairs within the middle of Kyiv, one thing to warn your pals about. I felt a chilly uneasiness. I known as my cousin, as a result of her lovely voice all the time has a relaxing impact on me, courageous and rational. She simply stated: Kyiv has been shelled. A struggle has damaged out.

Many issues have a starting. Once I take into consideration the start, I think about a line drawn very clearly by a white area. The attention observes the simplicity of this path of motion—one that’s certain to start someplace and finish someplace. However I’ve by no means been in a position to think about the start of a struggle. Unusual. I used to be within the Donbas when struggle with Russia broke out in 2014. However I had entered the struggle then, entered right into a foggy, unclear zone of violence. I nonetheless keep in mind the extreme guilt I felt about being a visitor in a disaster, a visitor who was allowed to depart at will as a result of I lived some other place.

The struggle was already there, an intruder, one thing unusual, international and insane, which had no justification to occur in that place and at the moment. Again then, I stored asking individuals within the Donbas how all this might begin, and all the time bought completely different solutions.

I feel that the start of this struggle within the Donbas was one of the vital mythologized moments for the individuals of Kyiv, exactly as a result of it remained incomprehensible how such an occasion is born. At the moment, in 2014, individuals in Kyiv stated, “Folks from Donbas, these Ukrainian Putin-sympathizers, invited the struggle to our nation.” This alleged “invitation” has for a while been thought of a proof for the way the completely unattainable—struggle with Russia—all of a sudden turned potential in any case.

After I completed the telephone name with my cousin, I paced round my condo for some time. My head was completely clean, I had no concept what to do now. Then my telephone rang once more. One name adopted the subsequent, pals got here ahead with plans to flee, some known as to verify we had been nonetheless alive. I shortly grew drained. I talked lots, consistently repeating the phrases “the struggle.” In between, I’d look out the window and take heed to see if the explosions had been approaching. The view from the window was abnormal, however the sounds of town had been unusually muffled—no kids yelling, no voices within the air.

Later, I went out and found a wholly new atmosphere, an vacancy that I had by no means seen right here, even on probably the most harmful days of the Maidan protests.

Someday later I heard that two kids died from shelling in Kherson Oblast, within the south of the nation, and {that a} whole of fifty-seven individuals died within the struggle immediately. The numbers was one thing very concrete, as if I had already misplaced somebody myself. I felt offended on the entire world. I assumed, this has been allowed to occur, it’s a crime in opposition to every thing human, in opposition to an important frequent area the place we stay and hope for a future.

I’m staying with my dad and mom tonight. I’ve visited a bunker subsequent to the home, so I do know the place we’ll all go when the shelling comes later.

The struggle has begun. It’s after midnight. I’ll hardly have the ability to go to sleep, and there’s no level in enumerating what has modified ceaselessly.

Yevgenia Belorusets is a photojournalist and author based mostly in Kyiv. She is the writer of Trendy Animal (ISOLARII, 2021) and the forthcoming Fortunate Breaks (New Instructions, 2022).

ISOLARII has rereleased Trendy Animal with one hundred pc of earnings donated to Ukrainian charities and causes. Copies and extra info can be found here.

This diary is printed in German by Der Spiegel.