Dolly Parton has been very busy. What might she do next?
She donated 1,000,000 {dollars} to fund vaccine analysis and wrote a thriller releasing spring 2022. Listed here are some (barely far-fetched) concepts of what she could do subsequent.
(Illustration by LeeAndra Cianci)
Evangelicals wish to ask, “What would Jesus do?” However Dolly Parton followers have co-opted this saying, which we genuinely posit right here: after donating $1 million to fund analysis for the Moderna vaccine and writing a thriller with creator James Patterson, set for launch in spring 2022, what is going to the 75-year-old country-pop icon do subsequent? Listed here are some concepts.
Launch a music streaming service
As one of the crucial prolific songwriters in historical past—and the girl who famously turned Elvis down when he wished to file I Will At all times Love You as a result of signing away her rights simply wasn’t well worth the dough—Parton’s fearsome enterprise savvy (she solely agreed to star within the 1980 flick 9 to five if she might write the theme music) would cease a streaming big like Spotify in its tracks.
Dolly dolls
In 2009, Dolly launched a file referred to as Backwoods Barbie; the title observe options her singing about how she dons “an excessive amount of make-up, an excessive amount of hair.” Which begs the query: why hasn’t Dolly launched a line of dolls in her picture? It might be the dolls she by no means had as a baby, like Banjo Dolly or Large-hair Dolly. Higher but: a Dollywood (Dolly’s amusement park) dollhouse.
Create a brand new self-help church
A loyal Christian, Dolly would by no means stray from God. However launching her personal string of megachurches? Kanye created Sunday Service, Justin Bieber attends Churchome. So what’s stopping Dolly? You’d higher consider her followers would flock to get some life steerage from the Dolly Lama herself, particularly if it comes within the type of cheeky one-liners—“the upper the hair, the nearer to God,” she says.
House journey—however make it glitter
Jeff Bezos can ship William Shatner into the galaxy all he needs, however what the photo voltaic system wants is a few rainbow-coloured stardust. Dolly’s house mission could be probably the most glam, highly effective expedition identified to womankind—and extra appreciated by the plenty, since she is universally beloved. Plus, she’d get to look down onto Earth and know that she has made it a greater place, for positive.
This text seems in print within the January 2022 concern of Maclean’s journal with the headline, “What would Dolly do?” Subscribe to the month-to-month print journal here.
